“Women who are powerful and successful don’t really want men in their lives—they’d rather be alone.”

“She’s so strong, she can handle anything.”

“Women who are independent don’t need men for anything.”

Recently I was attending a meditation retreat, and I met up with a female acquaintance I’ve known informally for some time. Julianne is a very successful attorney and a truly radiant woman. She exudes poise and self-confidence, and regularly speaks in front of large groups. When she asked me what I was working on, I told her about this book. Instantly, her eyes lit up, and she grabbed my arm. “Listen, Barbara,” Julianne said. “Here’s the most important thing you need to tell men—just because a woman is strong and independent in her career doesn’t mean she has no needs. We still need nurturing; we still need to be taken care of, even if it doesn’t always look like it.”
I thanked Julianne, and as I turned to leave, she called out, “Barbara—one more thing. Call me and tell me as soon as the book comes out. I need to give a copy to my husband. He thinks I’m superwoman.”
Over and over again in researching this chapter, I heard statements like Julianne’s from women that all illustrate Myth #6:

“My partner doesn’t understand that despite the fact that I’m very independent and strong, I often need reassurance and tenderness. At times I probably appear to be so tough that I can take anything—but sometimes I’d love a little more sympathy, empathy, and caretaking.”
“When my husband says ‘You’re strong, I know you can handle it,’ I feel like he is dismissing my needs. Yes, I’m strong, but I still like to be taken care of.”

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